TRUST NOBODY

So you have friends hey? And you trust them with your life? How Nice!

I am so sorry to be the one to break it down to you but that person you trust so much, the one you share your deepest darkest secrets with, WILL let you down. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but at some point, they WILL hurt you in a way you never imagined possible.

The saddest thing about betrayal is, it NEVER comes from an enemy.

I do not know whether it is a good or bad thing that God created me to be type of person who always looks for the good in other people. I always imagine that other people have my best interests at heart and that they will always celebrate my success and share my happiness with me.

Sadly, I have learnt the hard way that people will laugh with you, hug you tightly and tell you how much they love you, but turn around and stab you in the back at the first opportunity they get, without any hesitation.

The friends you have, yes that one you call your ride or die chick, she will and is currently plotting your downfall.  The smiles and hugs she gives you are nothing so do not be fooled. She has been watching you and envying you. She does not want good things to come your way. She prefers to hear you complain about how things are not working out in your life and/or relationship. 

Oh so you have met this amazing guy who is currently spoiling you and treating you like a Queen? You tell her everything about him up to the last detail, because she will be happy that you have finally found someone who loves and cherishes you, after all, she knows very well how many times your heart has been broken? I am sorry to be the one to burst your bubble, but your so called friend is green with envy and will stop at nothing to laugh secretly when things fall apart.  You see she sits back and wishes all these good things were happening to her and NOT you. She often asks herself “What is so special about you?” What she does not understand is; there is only one YOU. There can never and will never be your duplicate on this earth because God created us all in his own unique way.

I am not saying that ALL your friends are wolves in sheep skin. Of course there are some people who have good hearts and genuinely want the best for you in life.  There is that sister or friend who loves you whole heartedly and will always protect and care for you. Yes, they exist but they are VERY VERYYY rare in this day and age.

Quite recently, I was betrayed by someone I really really loved.  She was like a sister and I trusted her with my life- literally. I would have never in my wildest dreams imagined that she would cause me any harm. I wanted the best for her in life and I truly believed that she felt the same way. We would laugh, joke, hustle, cry and celebrate together.  Unbeknownst to me, she never really cared about me. I was only good for what she could use me for. 

 

So Fam, here is a friendly warning from Rica to you, with love;

1)      Your Ride or Die Chick?? Hehehe… She could easily be humping your man right this minute. Sad hey?..

2)      Oh, and Guys… that best friend of yours, yeah your homie… Do you know he is ratting on you to your Woman about how bad a player you are, and believe it or not, given the opportunity, he would not hesitate to sample your sacred, errrm.. what's the term again? Oh..‘goods’, yeah THOSE.... As in, “Sika YOUR khekhe” Aaaaaah life though..

3)       Lest we forget, your little Bestie, with whom you share all the gory details of your shenanigans, you see those screen shots of your conversations she has been saving, WILL be sent to your man pretty soon. Talk about a dagger in your back! *sigh*

4)      That Tender that was so promising but you were not granted, guess who let you down? Well of course, your contact at the Ministry told the Board you were no good.

5)      Last but certainly not least, your beloved in-laws honey, oh yes those who affectionately call you “Skoni”, please do yourself a favour and stay the hell away from them because they really don't give a damn about you. You probably do not believe me, but it’s okay. You will learn the hard way, just like I did.

 

Trust Nobody but God! That said, keep living, loving and improving yourself.

And if this will be any consolation to you; remember the Law of Cause and Effect, every action generates a reaction from the Universe, hence the saying “WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND”.

Wishing you all showers of blessings!!

Till next week, much love and God Bless.

DATING IN THE 21^ST CENTURY

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies … So, where do we go wrong huh?

Okay, you like this guy- A LOT! He seems to like you too.  But wait, you do not want to mess things up now, do you?

“There is no Dating Rules Book” you have probably thought to yourself.  Hold up, wait Baby Girl, actually, there is a Rules Book! 

I was reading Ellen Fein’s “The Rules” and came across some very interesting points. Actually, more than anything, I was surprised at how I have been breaking soooo many Dating Rules. 

I have gathered a couple of tips for my Girls out there and I am about to share a couple;

1.       Make him approach you (Uhm…)

2.       Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand (have blundered)

3.       End the date first (have blundered)

4.       Don’t date people who are already dating people ( He Banna, have blundered!!)

5.       Seriously, don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground! They will respect you. (Woah, THIRST!) *deep sigh*  

6.       Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring. (Yasss!!! One point for Rica)

7.       Feelings are HEAVY and nobody wants those, so shut up and suck it up. (Aww dayymnnn, NOW YOU TELL ME) *Kicks self twice*

8.       Be supportive and sympathetic (That’s right! I take the Oscar for this one. Effortlessly so..) *smiles*

9.       Only casual kissing on the first date (Hand me the gun please) LOL!

10.   Be awesome. You never want to be sad. Sad people are, well, sad people. Happy people are contagious. (That’s RIGHT!!) *smiles*

So there you have it GIRLS,  Ten Dating Tips.

If you can see my own reaction (in brackets) to each Tip, you will deduce that I have been breaking the Rules, for YEARS! Hahahaha!!      

Dating someone does not automatically mean you are married to the person.  So quit being clingy! You do not own the guy, and neither does he.  We have got to stop giving these guys so much power over us.

Keep yourself preoccupied with the things that you love, and that includes YOU.  Yes, keep yourself occupied with yourself. Make sense? Remember… Self Love, Self Love, Self Love!

Catch feelings for a moment, but if you see those feelings are not being reciprocated, then move onto thinking about more important things, like yourself.

I am told that men are hunters, so let’s give them the opportunity to pursue us fabulous females.

That about sums up today’s Dating Class my fabulous Queens!

So remember, no double texting, and don’t be blowing up his phone with calls, either! If you notice you are the one who is always initiating communication, then hold back a bit and give the fella a chance to miss you, or MISS OUT ON YOU! You are a Queen, remember this; you do not need a man to COMPLETE you. You need a man to COMPLEMENT you!

Class dismissed, mwah!

Till next week, Much love Fam!!

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

I dropped out of University at the age of nineteen for the simple reason that I could not control the crazy pregnancy induced nausea and mood swings that caused me to hate almost everyone on Campus, and that included almost all the Lecturers. 

And so there I was, a year and a half later, sitting at home breastfeeding and taking care of my baby boy. My future was not looking very bright.

Oh, did I mention that my son and I were now living with my In-laws? Yes, under one roof.  My son’s Grandfather was a jolly fine old man, BUT, he did not allow any female under his roof to wear pants. For that reason, I always had a kanga wrapped around my tiny frame.  My son’s Grandmother was a no nonsense old lady but she loved me and absolutely adored her Grandson.  I had allowed myself to become an unofficial “Makoti”.  Thing is, my son and I basically had nowhere to stay. 

When my son turned nine months, I decided it was time to wean him off the breast and start job hunting.

My very first job was that of a Temporary Receptionist at a leading Paint Manufacturer.

This was my first experience in the corporate world. I learnt how to answer incoming calls professionally and also how to take messages accurately. 

It was not long before I was offered a better paying job as a Secretary with a Law Firm in Matsapha.  I was enjoying my job and the new challenges it posed. 

My tenure at the law firm did not last very long.  The law firm was situated directly opposite one of the country’s leading Banks. I got wind of a position that had become vacant after the resignation of the Branch Manager’s Secretary. Armed only with my O’level certificate, I was afraid to apply because I thought that I would not meet the recruitment criteria.

My older sister told me to give it a go as I had nothing to lose after all.  I remember saying to myself “God has blessed me thus far, what will stop him now?”.  I submitted my application and was called for an interview. To my delight, I was offered the job.

I started off as Branch Manager’s Secretary and worked my way through the various departments within the Bank like the Foreign Exchange Department, ATM Cash Custodian and ultimately, Customer Service Consultant. The experience I gained, the business links I established over the eight years I was there groomed me into the dynamic woman I turned out to be.  The only downside is that while I was employed by the Bank, it was quite difficult for me to develop myself academically as it was a very demanding job environment and also, I worked on Saturdays as well.  After a lengthy eight years, all I had to show was my O’level certificate, with no other qualification but the vast experience I had gained.

I did not want to end up an old woman with only an O’level qualification and so I decided to quit my job at the bank and explore ways to develop and empower myself.

I joined a totally different industry than the one I had become accustomed to, the Motor Vehicle Industry. This meant I had Saturdays off and thus an opportunity to start studying again. Also, through hard work and my commitment to my job, last year I was promoted to the Position of Human Resources Officer.

I enrolled at Mananga Management Centre (I attend lectures on Saturdays) and successfully obtained a Level 4 Diploma in Business Management. Presently, I am studying Human Resources Management. That I have become a student again is not easy but, it is a necessity if I am to realise my maximum potential.

The reason I am sharing this story with you today is, I want you to know that nothing is Impossible! I could have easily settled and accepted that I was only good for answering the phone at someone’s Front Desk but I did not! I knew that I was worth and capable of much more.  I have always believed and trusted God to bless me with the best and I do consider myself a very fortunate person in life.  Five years from now, rest assured that I will be something and someone much greater and successful than I currently am. Fast forward to ten years from now, I will have made my first million dollars! Yes, dollars!

Quit doubting your capabilities and stop settling in your comfort zone!! 

You can achieve much more than you have ever imagined!!

Keep going and NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!

Till next week, Much love and God’s Blessings to you and yours!!!