GOD, WHERE IS MY BOAZ?

I am reading a very interesting book by Stephan Labossiere, titled “GOD WHERE IS MY BOAZ”.

I have been inspired to dedicate this week’s article to all the single ladies out there who have reached a point in their lives where they are on the verge of giving up meeting Mr Right.

I understand that almost all your relationships have failed. I understand that you have always made an effort to make things work.  I understand that your marriage ended in divorce. Hey, I understand.

Take heart Oh Beautiful Woman!  Your past experiences do not spell the absence of hope for you in Love.

There is a wonderful love story in the Bible in the book of Ruth, about a God fearing widow who, against all odds, captured the heart of a great man, Boaz.  

You deserve to have someone in your life who will love you, care for you, motivate you, mentor you and encourage you. You deserve that special person- your Boaz!

I know you have kissed many frogs and none have turned into your Prince Charming. I know you have reached a point in your life where you are now willing to settle for Mr Wrong. You know very well who the Mr Wrong is in your life is. You know it because your intuition tells you so. You know it because he has been hurting you and is showing very little regard for your feelings. You know it because he is never there for you. You know it because you are not included in his plans for the future.

He is taking you for a ride and it is time you stepped out of that ride because you are going NOWHERE slowly.

You have probably spent many nights crying out to God. You are beginning to doubt your worth. You are starting to think you may have been cursed. You know you are a good woman, you know you have what it takes to be a great partner but things are not working out the way they should be.

Do not give up, it is not over until it is over! Your time is coming.

God’s plan for your life is for you to live a life of abundance.  Abundance of Grace. Abundance of Prosperity. Abundance of LOVE.  Do you believe this? Remember, God is not a Man that he should lie! His promises are Yes and Amen. Wow! Who would have thought that I had it in me to preach huh?

There is no need to under rate or degrade yourself. Your current situation does not render you less of a woman. You are perfectly imperfect just the way you are. Your scars, past, number of children, shape and skin colour all form part and parcel of who and what you are my lady!

Patience is a virtue Baby Girl.  True love will find you.  Stop searching, stop stressing, stop fretting! Just STOP.  Exhale, let it go and allow LOVE to FIND you, because it will, when you least expect it to, and under the strangest circumstances.   

In the meantime, enjoy your life as a singleton.

Just as Ruth was going about her business working in the veld when Boaz noticed her, your Prince will appear when you are least expectant.

Exercise caution though.. Do not fall in to the trap of mistaking your Boaz for that Joker who does not treat you right or appreciate you. Uhm, that married dude is not your Boaz hey… Just saying! Oh, lest I forget, guys who do not text you back are not of the Boaz species. Hehehehehe… This is my favourite line because I despise being ignored, so my Boaz had better get texting, and fast!

It would appear that I am fast becoming the Love Guru of the Internet. Experience Fam…. Experience!! Painful, brutal life lessons! 

Your girl Rica has been through the fire, so believe me when I say, I am nothing but pure GOLD now. Lucky is the fella who will settle down with yours truly. Lucky and blessed he is! Heek heek..

To my ladies out there; May we kiss frogs no more! Peace, be still.. Peace, BE STILL!!

 

Until next week, much love and God Bless!!!

 

  

 

DADDY DEAREST

 I woke up today with thoughts of my Dad, Mr. Dale Smith, who passed on many years ago, when I was only eight years old.     

He was a Disciplinarian and during the few years that I spent with him, he kept me and my siblings on the straight and narrow path. I was afraid of him. We all were (our Mom included).        

My Dad did not socialize. He always kept to himself.  He never went out and hardly ever had friends come over to our house. He preferred to stay home and sip on his Whiskey. 

He enjoyed watching CNN News on our small black and white television set. I recall vividly how we would all sit in the living room and watch TV together as a family, very quietly. My Dad disliked noise.  He often told my siblings and I, “Children are to be seen and not to be heard”, and he meant just that.

He was a man who thoroughly enjoyed his space. If we spent too much time inside the house, he would ask my siblings and I; “Are you trying to count my teeth” (never mind that he actually wore false teeth), but we loved him all the same and I know he loved us too.    

My Dad would pat me on the forehead and call me “Girlie” when he was in a good mood , which was rare. My Dad was not a jolly person.

My siblings and I we were not allowed to play outside of the yard and this taught us how to truly enjoy each another’s company. 

Visitors were not allowed in our home. I recall how, many a time, the Jehovah’s Witnesses who tried to visit our home were turned away at the gate. It was the duty of us kids to inform them, rather sheepishly; “Dad says Go Away”.

 

Mr.Smith was a big fan of corporal punishment and I will never forget a particular morning when Yours Truly grew ‘long fingers’ and dug into Big Sister’s stash of coin savings.

The parents were away at work and my older siblings were at school.  My younger sister and I remained at home every morning (we had not yet started school) until the rest of the family returned in the evening.

I raided Big Sister’s savings in her secret spot (on top of the Wardrobe) and raced to the shop, which was a walking distance, whereupon I made it ‘rain’ all sorts of good things for baby sis and I.   We bought big red apples, chocolate, fizzy drinks, biscuits and , and, and! We even bought the daily newspaper, regardless of the fact that we could not read at the time. 

Later that evening, my older sister noticed that her coin savings had been tampered with. I was already fast asleep. Of course I was the prime suspect.  I was woken up and told that Dad wanted to have a word with me.  I stepped out of bed (still half asleep) and walked into the living room, where I found him seated on his favourite couch- sjambok in hand. Yeah…  Sjambok! That is how my Dad ‘rolled’. He asked me what had happened to my sister’s money and I sang my confession like a cannery, before enduring the dreaded and excruciating lashes of that, THAT SJAMBOK!   

 Our family owned a lovely dog named “Freeway”. She too was not spared the rod. If she so much as howled for no reason, my Dad simply walked out of the house with his Sjambok and gave her a couple of lashes to ‘call her to order’.

One thing I loved about Pops is that he never ever forgot birthdays.  He always made us feel extra special on our birthdays. These were our best days. We would gather around the table  and sing “Happy Birthday”, before enjoying chocolate cake and refreshments. However, our friends were not allowed to join us.      

 One afternoon, our Dad returned home from work earlier than usual. He appeared to be physically un-well. That evening, our Mom made arrangements to get him to Hospital, where he spent a couple of days.  

 Sadly, My Papa never made it back home alive.

 

Until next week, much love and God Bless!!

 

WHAT IS LOVE?

And for two years I have wrestled with the urge to write a very personal life story about a love that I lost, and from whom I believe I learnt to fully fathom the term “Unconditional Love”.

We misuse the word love every day, but how many of us truly understand it’s meaning?

We dated many years ago and I fell deeply in love with him for what was a rather short lived affair. He was very married, I soon learnt (the hard way) after he dropped me like a hot potato.

Three years later, he called me up one afternoon, his voice barely audible and informed me that he had suffered a stroke.

A part of me wanted to forget about the call and get on with my life, as I had been doing (he had hurt me so bad remember) but another part of me felt sorry for him.

I decided to go and check up on him and I was shocked to discover that the stroke had left the right side of his body, completely paralyzed.

It pained my heart to the core to see him this way, now a shadow of his former vibrant, energetic, loud, bubbly and crazy self.

He was alone in a big house, confined to a wheelchair. Depressed and very dejected.

In the days that followed, I took it upon myself to check up on him as often as I could and to ensure that he always had a warm hearty home cooked meal on the regular.

At this point, I thought nothing of it all. I was merely being there for someone I once held dear to me.

My visits increased in frequency until we were practically co-habiting.

This was not an easy journey in my life but nonetheless, I have absolutely no regrets about the experience. 

You see, this was not your average dude. It was almost impossible to please him. He was very demanding, very particular (about anything and everything) and boy did he have a temper! The irony is that he was also be the sweetest person I had ever known. “Split Personalities” is a term I think is most appropriate.

Through this experience, and even though I will treat it as a life lesson, I discovered love and strength within me that I did not know I possessed. I also learnt that it is true that WHEN DAYS ARE DARK, FRIENDS ARE FEW. It was sad to see the throngs of friends he was always surrounded by, abandon him during this difficult time in his life.

I had so much hope in me for him. I was waiting upon God to perform a miracle and heal him back to his normal self.  It was not to be, and he passed on two years later.

During and after it all, I also learnt how judgemental society can be. I became the talk of the town and a laughing stock. Many questioned my sanity for loving a crippled man while others felt he deserved to suffer and concluded that it was foolish of me to stand by him.

Tongues were wagging all over, in the bars, at the Car Washes and Shisanyama Joints. The Judge Judys of this world were talking. They often enjoyed (and still do) a drink while dissecting my name. Rumours were spreading like a wild fire. I was labelled and branded, and to this day some people still speak about me in hushed tones and purport to know it all. They think they have it all figured out. Heck, some have even diagnosed me with all sorts of ailments my body knows nothing of.

One thing many people probably do not (yet) know about me is; I am not your average woman. No! Do not fool yourself. I have never been and will never be. I am very aware that I am rare.

I fail to conform to the norms of society and I am totally at peace with the person that I am.

I was created this way by God. I am not one to care about what people say or think about me. I know who I am and I love Me.

I am weird. I am real. I am Rica and this is RealTalk.

No. I am not normal.

#AsYouWere

 

Until next week, Much love and God Bless.

www.realtalkrica.blogspot.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Your alarm goes off and you feel like screaming and curling back into bed.

Your energy levels are way below zero and you have absolutely no desire to participate in life, no today anyway!

Sound familiar?

There are days when everything seems to be working against you; it actually feels like you are literally driving against oncoming traffic.

You wish you could call in sick and shut the world out of your life for a while.. a day, a week, a month! You do not feel like interacting with your fellow earthlings. Actually, moving to another planet does not seem like such a bad idea.

Well, I woke up this morning feeling all sorts of demotivated.. about life, about work, about relationships- Pretty much everything! For a second I wished I could go back to my childhood. But then I quickly remembered that I actually did not enjoy that either. Lol! Nothing “Lol-y” about it, I know hey.  

I am not sure if this is a mild form of depression or just purely a bad day but I am tired. Tired of being strong. Tired of trying. Tired of smiling. Just tired!

I do not often feel this way. My normal self is a happy, bubbly, outgoing, crazy and full of life Rica.

That said, I am only human right?.. RIGHT! So just for today, please allow me to express exactly how I am feeling right this moment.

Today my motivational quotes, memes, prayer, books and affirmations are not working.

Just today, allow to express just how lost I feel.

Today, I woke up (against my body’s will) and dragged myself into the bath. I dressed up and made myself look pretty. I even wore my favourite red lipstick. I was looking quite good, if I may say so myself. Only, I was feeling the complete opposite.

Before I set out for work, my beautiful daughter gave me a warm hug and wished me a lovely day. For a minute, my heart warmed up and I smiled.

I dragged myself into the car and cranked up the engine. The stereo came on, the volume was at full blast (as usual), and I drove myself to work, at high speed, because the speed temporarily gives my body an adrenaline rush of excitement (which brings me back to the feeling that I NEED ,not want, a car with a V8 engine) It is necessary for my therapy.

Today is one of those days when I wish my fellow colleagues could spare me any form of communication. I wish I could close the blinds and lock my office door until knock off time.

However, the reality of life is that even on days like this, one still has to fully participate.. In that job, those commitments and also those bills! *sigh* 

There are times when even the strongest people need a hug, a kind word or maybe a wad of cash. Especially a wad of cash! Heek heek..

Tomorrow will be a better day, I know it will. But just for today, please allow me to swim and absorb my misery until it begins to spill over.

Only for today, because TODAY is just one of those days!

Until next week, much love and God Bless!!

 

GOOD GIRL GONE BAD – PART 3

She felt a sense of panic gripping her soul.

“Welcome Beautiful”, said a voice from behind. She turned around, and there he was… The Venda Prince himself, looking fine as ever.

He handed her a beautiful bouquet of red roses before giving her a warm embrace. 

They made their way to the parking lot and he opened the door for her to get inside.  They were chatting and laughing on their way to his beautiful townhouse. It actually felt like she had known Lufuno all her life.

They got to the house where he told her to change into comfortable gear as they were going on a sight-seeing expedition.

He took her to the most lovely Entertainment Centre, Gold Reef City. The atmosphere was beautiful. They dined, played games, watched movies, took pictures and also did a bit of some shopping.

It was soon night time and they were both exhausted from the day’s activities and decided to head back to the house.

That night, she let go and just went with the flow.. Yes, that night, for the very first time, she went against her morals and against what she had stood for and believed in all her life. Alas! The good girl had officially gone bad, with no regrets. How about that huh?

Finally, the day for her departure back home arrived. Lufuno drove her to the airport, but not before he pumped some cash into her wallet. She was not sure how to feel about the cash gift. It was awkward. It almost felt like she was being paid for something?.. She almost gave him the money back but then she thought, what the heck, I could use some of this.

They said their goodbyes and she boarded.

She landed safely back home and took a cab to the house.

Night time came and it was the same situation of Mister coming back home in the wee hours of the morning. Only, this time around there was no interrogation. Nothing at all. Instead, very surprisingly, he was acting all lovey dovey and trying to get lucky, but all in vain. She could not. I mean, how could she ‘cheat’ on Lufuno? Hehehehe..

The next day, same scenario.. And the next, and the next. It was the end of any chance of intimacy ever again. She could not.

And that of course fuelled suspicions of infidelity on her part. Only, this time around, she was guilty as charged. The name calling and accusations were not bothering her one bit.

The affair continued and she was crazy in love with her Prince. Meanwhile, back at the marital nest, the bedroom sanctions intensified.

Soon, she could not stand the sight of him anymore and opted to move out and find a flat of her own, where she could cheat in peace. And cheat she did, until it all fell apart.

And that spelled the end of her marriage and also the end of her ‘innocence’. 

Moral of the story;

If you have a good woman, who loves you, respects you and has your back at all times. Do not take her for granted because there WILL come A time when she will decide; Enough is Enough! There are Vultures and Charmers out there like, Lufuno, waiting for you to slip up!  You will never miss your water until your well runs dry.