WHAT IS LOVE?

And for two years I have wrestled with the urge to write a very personal life story about a love that I lost, and from whom I believe I learnt to fully fathom the term “Unconditional Love”.

We misuse the word love every day, but how many of us truly understand it’s meaning?

We dated many years ago and I fell deeply in love with him for what was a rather short lived affair. He was very married, I soon learnt (the hard way) after he dropped me like a hot potato.

Three years later, he called me up one afternoon, his voice barely audible and informed me that he had suffered a stroke.

A part of me wanted to forget about the call and get on with my life, as I had been doing (he had hurt me so bad remember) but another part of me felt sorry for him.

I decided to go and check up on him and I was shocked to discover that the stroke had left the right side of his body, completely paralyzed.

It pained my heart to the core to see him this way, now a shadow of his former vibrant, energetic, loud, bubbly and crazy self.

He was alone in a big house, confined to a wheelchair. Depressed and very dejected.

In the days that followed, I took it upon myself to check up on him as often as I could and to ensure that he always had a warm hearty home cooked meal on the regular.

At this point, I thought nothing of it all. I was merely being there for someone I once held dear to me.

My visits increased in frequency until we were practically co-habiting.

This was not an easy journey in my life but nonetheless, I have absolutely no regrets about the experience. 

You see, this was not your average dude. It was almost impossible to please him. He was very demanding, very particular (about anything and everything) and boy did he have a temper! The irony is that he was also be the sweetest person I had ever known. “Split Personalities” is a term I think is most appropriate.

Through this experience, and even though I will treat it as a life lesson, I discovered love and strength within me that I did not know I possessed. I also learnt that it is true that WHEN DAYS ARE DARK, FRIENDS ARE FEW. It was sad to see the throngs of friends he was always surrounded by, abandon him during this difficult time in his life.

I had so much hope in me for him. I was waiting upon God to perform a miracle and heal him back to his normal self.  It was not to be, and he passed on two years later.

During and after it all, I also learnt how judgemental society can be. I became the talk of the town and a laughing stock. Many questioned my sanity for loving a crippled man while others felt he deserved to suffer and concluded that it was foolish of me to stand by him.

Tongues were wagging all over, in the bars, at the Car Washes and Shisanyama Joints. The Judge Judys of this world were talking. They often enjoyed (and still do) a drink while dissecting my name. Rumours were spreading like a wild fire. I was labelled and branded, and to this day some people still speak about me in hushed tones and purport to know it all. They think they have it all figured out. Heck, some have even diagnosed me with all sorts of ailments my body knows nothing of.

One thing many people probably do not (yet) know about me is; I am not your average woman. No! Do not fool yourself. I have never been and will never be. I am very aware that I am rare.

I fail to conform to the norms of society and I am totally at peace with the person that I am.

I was created this way by God. I am not one to care about what people say or think about me. I know who I am and I love Me.

I am weird. I am real. I am Rica and this is RealTalk.

No. I am not normal.

#AsYouWere

 

Until next week, Much love and God Bless.

www.realtalkrica.blogspot.com