It was the summer of 2002, on a fine Saturday evening.  We had attended a wedding earlier in the day with the girls.  It was now around 5 p.m. and we were eager to paint the town red. Only one little problem, how was I gonna get my ‘Gate Pass’ (as in get out of the house), considering I had a very Traditional or should I say ‘Headmaster’ type of partner at the time. You see, going out with the girls was a rare luxury in the household.

The girls and I sat down and tried to compose and rehearse the perfect excuse for me to leave the house.  Halfway through a bottle of Spice Gold Rum, it seemed like the perfect plan to simply switch off my damn cell phone, put on my dancing shoes and head out to shake our fine asses on the dancefloor at Quartermains, Ezulwini.

The evening was going pretty well and we were all in high spirits. Rica was nice and tipsy and completely lost track of time.  It was only wayyy past midnight when I started to nag the squad about us heading home. They were still having a good time and assured me we would leave soon.  I realized that “soon” could easily become dawn, and that would mean me spending the next day in the ‘Dog Box’ back home.

I asked for the car keys from the girls under the pretext that I just wanted to relax in the car. They handed me the keys without any resistance. After all, there was no harm because I couldn’t drive, or so they thought.  It was in fact my second week at Driving School.  I unlocked the doors and took my position on the driver’s seat. I cranked up the engine and engaged reverse gear, balanced the pedals (just how my driving school instructor had taught me). The car moved quite smoothly. I was pleased with myself. Put the car into first gear , and off I went!  Yup, I had just stolen my friend’s car! Ok, stealing sounds like a strong word here. Let me rephrase, I had just driven off in my friend’s car without her permission. Phew, that sounds better! Hehehehe….  Right, Gear 2, then 3, then…… then nothing!  I stopped changing at Gear 3 ( I mean we had only gone as far as gear 3 at driving school)  Off I went on the highway, the car engine obviously in distress. I was enjoying myself. I felt like such a big girl, a Driver.

There were hardly any cars on the highway, no cops either. I turned up the volume on the stereo as I continued on my unauthorized drive home. I was singing along and having a little car party of my own and feeling good. I noticed that a couple of the cars that passed me along the highway kept flicking their lights at me. I was puzzled at first but didn’t think much of it. It was only when I approached the Nazarene traffic lights that it finally dawned on me that I had been driving all the way from Ezulwini to Manzini, with no lights. I quickly fiddled with the switches and managed to switch on the head lamps. I felt like a complete idiot for driving all the way with no lights but nonetheless, I was quite impressed with my cat’s eye night vision. 

In no time I was home. I drove into the yard, music still thumping and parked my “hot” wheels. Very much intact, without a single scratch! Just as I was about to knock on the door, I saw headlamps in the driveway. Lo & behold, the squad (my girls), hot on my heels, err wheels, in a Taxi.  Hehehehe.. The commotion that followed and the impending doom that awaited me inside the house, I will leave to your imagination. Let’s just say I was not a very pretty sight the next day, my face quite rearranged by lion in the den.