Would You Tell?

You are knowledgeable that your friend’s partner is cheating. What do you do?

Do you call your friend up immediately and spill the beans or do you step back and think carefully about it before you decide what to do.

You may feel disgusted by the infidelity and you may feel that telling your friend about it is the right thing to do, but is it really?

I do not think there is any right or wrong way to handle this and at the end of the day, we have different approaches and values when it comes to loyalty and monogamy as a whole.

Relationships dynamics are complex and no two relationships are exactly the same.

Nowadays, it has become almost ‘normal’ to have more than one partner, more especially with the male species. I am told that most guys want to have a main girlfriend and also a secret lover also known as a “Side Chick”. Very few guys stay true to one partner.

Now, with the ever changing times, woman have changed the status quo and it is now very common to find woman with a steady partner AND a secret fella on the side, also known as a “Side Dude”.

Anyway, back to the subject matter, what is the right thing to do when faced with the knowledge that your friend’s partner is cheating?

You may decide to tell your friend about it and watch as he/she breaks down and tries to handle the heartbreak. Usually, one of two things happens after you tell. Your friend may end the relationship or decide to stay and work things out.

As I mentioned earlier, relationship dynamics are complex, thus you may end up having a fall out with your friend after you have spilled the beans. Why? There is a popular siswati saying that goes; “Indzaba yebantfu lababili ayingenwa” loosely translated “Do not involve yourself in any matter that pertains to two lovers”.

When all is said and done, if two people love each other, they will try to work things out as opposed to ending the relationship. On the other hand, you as the Whistle Blower risk falling out with your friend because it is not difficult for their significant other to turn the tables and make it appear that you are either lying about it or purely jealous about the relationship.

Okay, let us weigh the Pros and Cons of Spilling the Beans;

What happens if you turn a blind eye? Well your friend is being ‘played’ and is none the wiser. All is well in their world. Nobody gets hurt. Where ignorance is bliss ‘tis folly to be wise, right? Well this is a very tricky one. For instance, you may opt to be silent about the infidelity but what happens if six months down the line, your friend contracts some dread disease as a result of said infidelity? You would probably blame yourself wouldn’t you? But then again, we need to remember this; at the end of the day, the issue of ensuring that you do not expose yourself to Sexually Transmitted Infections rests with you, not your friend, and certainly not your partner. You are responsible to protect YOU.  

I did say we have different opinions pertaining to this topic and mine may not necessarily be favourable to you.

You know, from early childhood, my mother always told me to stay out of other peoples’ business. Growing up, I do not recall a single incident whereby my mother was involved in gossip drama. I do not recall anyone budging into our house hot under the collar,  to confront my mother over any neighbourhood gossip- Ever!

It is a principle I adopted from an early age, minding my own business.

It has worked for me over the years and it keeps me out of trouble.

 

Much love and God Bless, till next week!!